Learning to Let Go
As the year winds down, I’ve been thinking a lot about everything that’s happened—what worked, what didn’t, the lessons learned, and the unexpected moments that stuck with me.
And if I had to pick one big thing that stood out for me this year, it’s this: trust.
Trusting the timing of things. Trusting that not everything has to be forced to work out. Trusting that sometimes, when I loosen my grip just a little, life has a funny way of surprising me.
Trusting the Timing: When Letting Go Changes Everything
I’m not a “planner” in the strict sense, but I’m definitely driven—and maybe a little stubborn. When I have a big dream or goal, I hold onto it hard. I want it to happen. I want it to work out. And honestly, when it feels like things aren’t going the way I’d hoped, loosening that grip can feel terrifying.
But this year, I learned something: the tighter I hold on, the harder everything feels. And every time I took a step back, let myself breathe, and stopped trying to force things into place, life had a way of unfolding in ways I couldn’t have planned for— often in the best way possible.
The Science of Surrender: Why Letting Go Works
But why does letting go feel so hard, and why does it work so well when we finally do it? Science has some answers.
When we’re stressed and trying to force outcomes, our brain goes into overdrive. The part of our brain responsible for logic and problem-solving (the prefrontal cortex) gets overwhelmed, while our fear center (the amygdala) kicks in. The result? Tunnel vision. We can’t see the bigger picture, let alone the opportunities right in front of us.
When we let go, even just a little, it creates space for clarity. It allows our brain to relax and access the creativity and perspective we need to make better decisions. Research shows that when we’re calm, we’re better equipped to adapt, problem-solve, and recognize new possibilities.
The Restaurant Analogy: Trusting in the Process
Here’s a silly but relatable example: Imagine you’re at a restaurant, and you’ve just placed your order. Do you check in with the waiter every two minutes? “Hey, is it ready yet? Are you sure you didn’t forget? Can I see how it’s going in the kitchen?”
Of course not. (At least, I hope not!) Instead, you trust that your food will arrive. And in the meantime, you enjoy the conversation, the ambiance, the company.
Life is a lot like that. When we’re constantly checking on the “kitchen,” we miss out on what’s happening right in front of us. Trusting the process doesn’t mean you don’t care—it means you’re giving yourself permission to enjoy the moment while trusting that what’s meant for you is on its way.
The Detours That Turned Into Upgrades
This year was full of detours—plans changing last minute, timelines shifting, and moments where life really seemed to be testing my patience. At first, it was frustrating. But every time I stopped resisting, accepted the change, and surrendered, something better came along.
My grandma used to say, “Nothing is so bad it’s not good for something.” As a kid, I thought I understood it, but I never really felt the deeper truth of it—until this year. Time and time again, when things didn’t go as planned, they ended up leading to something greater than I could have imagined.
That’s what trust taught me: those detours we dread? They’re often upgrades in disguise. The second I stopped fighting the change, I realized life was showing me a path I didn’t even know existed.
What Trust Isn’t
Let’s get one thing clear: Trusting doesn’t mean doing nothing. It’s not throwing your hands up and saying, “Whatever happens, happens.”
It’s more like setting a destination in Google Maps. You know where you want to go, but you’re open to the route shifting. Sometimes you hit a detour, but that detour might take you through the most beautiful view or shortcut you didn’t know about. It might even take you somewhere better than you planned.
Trust as a Practice
Here’s what I’ve learned about trust: it’s not a one-and-done deal. It’s a practice, a choice you make over and over again.
When timelines shift, remind yourself that change can bring unexpected opportunities.
When fear creeps in, ask yourself, “What if this is unfolding exactly as it’s meant to?”
And when things feel uncertain, take a deep breath and remember that detours often lead to upgrades.
Wrapping Up the Year
As I reflect on this year, I feel grateful for the moments when I trusted—when I let go of the need to control every detail and allowed things to unfold.
Not everything went according to plan, and thank goodness for that. Because some of the best opportunities, connections, and lessons came from things not working out the way I expected.
So as we move into the new year, I invite you to practice trust with me. Set your goals, take action, and let the journey surprise you. The best part? The detours just might take you somewhere even better than you imagined.
Here’s to trusting the process!